Planning a funeral is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do. It's necessary to get the planning and arrangements completed, of course, but having a lot to consider in a short space of time can be stressful and upsetting, with the pressure on to get everything just right.
Although it's a deeply upsetting time, funeral planning can be a helpful part of coming to terms with your loss and dealing with grief. Here are some tips to help you turn a potentially difficult experience into something positive, getting all the important tasks done along the way.
Get other people involved.
There are many reasons to avoid doing things all on your own, the biggest one being that getting help will reduce your stress. Ask friends and family members if they'll help out with the planning, and the pressure won't all be on you.
Involving others also helps them with their own grief, so you'll know you're doing something positive for people who are struggling as you are. On top of that, other people might have their own ideas to help make the funeral truly special.
Enjoy those special memories.
Whether you're writing a eulogy or telling a funeral director or officiant all about the deceased, it's a chance to remember all the things that made the person unique.
Understandably, this can be an upsetting thing to do, so try and concentrate on the things that make you smile as you remember them, rather than anything that simply reminds you of your loss. When you get friends or family members together for planning sessions, talking about your favourite memories can be good for everyone.
Think of ways to celebrate the life of the deceased.
A funeral doesn't have to be a sombre, depressing service. Turns things around and see it as a chance to celebrate somebody you love, rather than focusing on them being gone.
The right music can be a good way to add a bit of celebration to a funeral, as can a touch of humour in speeches and readings. You might consider asking people to wear colourful clothing instead of black. As you plan these aspects, it helps you to look forward to the funeral without a sense of dread and despair.
Remember you'll be stronger afterwards.
Once you've finished the planning, you'll have tackled something that's no easy task. Knowing this helps you realise how strong you are, and that you can take on things that are out of your comfort zone.
It's also a big step towards processing your loss, and you'll be a little closer to coming to terms with it after your plans are finished.
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